a little update

I’ve not written in a while as I’ve been getting on with the serious business of going on holiday. So now I’ve been home for a week or two recovering I feel it’s time for a little update!

Firstly, I’ve been but in the support group for my ESA, which for those who don’t know, is A GOOD THING because it means I get my benefit payments for 6 months before being reassessed. Hopefully by that time things will be a little clearer in terms of where/when I’ll be back at work. It should at least tide me over till Christmas.

Secondly, I’m able to manage over 15 mins on the exercise bike every day which feels like such an amazing achievement! I know I shouldn’t get ahead of myself but I’m really desperate to start running again and I’m hoping it won’t be too long!

Overall I feel I’m slowly improving but I still have major dips symptom wise. I have the odd occasional day where I feel almost normal again but usually the next couple of days I pay for it! This happened in the first week of our family holiday to Scotland, where things got so bad I had to spend 4 days in bed which was unbelievably frustrating. Thankfully by the second week I was much better than I ever expected and even managed some sort walks. Intriguingly I was by the sea, and I always seem to notice a slight improvement when I’m on the coast although it could just be a co-incidence!

I had a 24 blood pressure monitor on last week, only 10 months after it was first suggested….. I’m waiting to find out the results of that but hopefully everything will be normal as I didn’t have any major symptoms that day!

Other than that I’m just taking life slowly; visiting the odd cafe, crocheting, drinking gallons of water and enjoying the sun while it’s out.

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summer is here!

It’s been a while since my last blog post, mainly because there’s not that much to say. I’ve spent a long while sleeping, I’ve seen various relatives and friends. I’ve done a bit of gardening, crocheting and political campaigning but not had much luck with the exercise  bike! We’ve decided to have a bit of a rest from each other but I’m hoping to start again soon.

At the moment fatigue is definitely the worst symptom I have, with brain fog a close second. I’ve just not had the energy to do more than is necessary, and I’ve found it really hard to balance what needs to be done with what I want to do, because at the moment I just want to do everything and am finding it hard to say no! I really miss things like getting out into the countryside for long walks, especially now the weather is (supposedly!) warming up. I’m lucky to have a corner of the garden which is shady and cool, so when I feel able to go outside it’s a lovely little corner to read in even on hot days.

When I have good moments I try to take advantage of them and I plough on regardless. This leaves me unable to do much for days afterwards as I’m paying the price for my over-enthusiasm! I’m still learning my limits and getting used to being on medication, and have found myself worrying about going back to work. This is because I had hoped by now that going back to work would be a realistic goal in the near future. However the reality is that it’s going to take me a little while longer yet. I seemed to have reached a bit of a plateau in my recovery, as although I’m not getting any worse, I’m also not getting any better, making my goal of getting back to work feel like even more of a distant prospect.

This is a scary thought especially as it’s such an ‘unknown’. When will I be able to work again? Will I be able to carry on with my job? Will there be anything suitable for me to do if I have to be re-deployed elsewhere? So many questions which for the time being I’m trying to put to one side and focus on getting better and remembering to have a bit of fun too while I’m at it!